Getting Volunteers to Ask for Donations

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People Hate to Ask

Nonprofits that depend on volunteer fundraisers have to overcome a big hurdle: people hate to ask others for money.

But it’s not just money. People hate to ask for anything. A favor. A ride. Help moving. Even a seat on the bus. There’s a deep discomfort in being the one who asks.

But here’s the thing. My wife Katrina VanHuss and I ask others for favors all the time. On purpose.

Our Secret Weapon: The “Favor Ask”

We’ve learned that asking is a great way to build relationships. When Katrina wants to open a door with someone, she’ll ask for a quote for an interview. When I want to do the same, I ask for advice.

You see what we’re doing, right? We’re not trying to impress. We’re trying to connect, and people like being asked.

Turns out, it’s not just us. This idea goes back to Benjamin Franklin. The other kind of Benjamins.

What Ben Franklin Knew That You Should Too

Franklin once turned an enemy into an ally by asking him to lend a rare book. The man did, and suddenly became… less enemy-ish. Franklin wrote:

“He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another.”

Psychologists now call this the “Ben Franklin Effect.” When someone does you a favor, they end up liking you more.

It sounds backwards, but it holds up in the research. It’s rooted in self-perception theory. We don’t just watch others’ behavior, we watch ours, too. If I’m doing something nice for you, I assume I must like you. So, my attitudes change to match my behavior.

Asking Is a Relationship Move

Here’s the twist for fundraisers: Asking isn’t just a transaction. It’s a relationship-builder.

That’s why, when I coach nonprofits on how to help their volunteers ask for support, I don’t start with scripts or fact sheets. I tell them to start with stories.

Instead of “Here are all the stats about our impact,” I tell them to ask volunteer fundraisers, “Why do you care about this cause? What made you get involved? What makes you stay?”

Stories > Stats

Those personal stories beat a list of bullet points every time. They’re believable. They’re sticky. They don’t feel like marketing. They feel like the truth.

So, when it comes time to make the ask, here’s the best advice I’ve got: Don’t make it about the organization. Make it about you.

Don’t say:

“Will you support the Richmond SPCA?”

Say:

“Will you support me?”

Make It Personal

You’ve changed just three words. But that shift makes a world of difference.

Now it’s personal. Now it’s human. You’re not presenting a pitch deck. You’re sharing a piece of yourself. And the donor isn’t helping an institution. They’re helping you. Which means they’re much more likely to say yes and feel good about it.

People Want to Say Yes

The truth is, people want to say yes. We’re wired for sociability. As much as we dread asking, people dread refusing even more. Especially when the ask is genuine.

So, let’s stop trying to arm our fundraisers with facts, figures, and flawless pitches. Let’s arm them with their own stories. Let’s teach them to say:

“This matters to me. Will you support me?”

Because if Ben Franklin was right (and 300 years of psychology says he was), that’s how you turn strangers into allies.

And if you ever need advice on writing about psychology? I’m available. Just ask.